How He Turns and Changes Back
by forbiddenxfairytales
Summary: She laughs. He blushes. His mother schemes. Everything is as it should be.


_ I know not everyone is a fan of Koichi, but hopefully you enjoy it! Constructive criticism is always welcome! This fic excludes the first arranged marriage meeting with MC's parents. _

_Disclaimer: Characters belong to Voltage._

* * *

"Who knows? You might marry her someday." his father says, laying a heavy hand on his shoulder.  
And all the adults exchange knowing glances and share a discreet wink or a not-so-discreet giggle at the expense of the young, blushing boy as they adjourn to the living room for some tea and good conversation. The door closes behind them.  
But Koichi does not move to follow.  
Instead, he stares at the crib from clear across the room, silently pondering the word.

(Marry?…)

He can feel his cheeks begin to redden again.  
And after a moment's hesitation, he begins to approach the baby and he peers down at the chubby little thing slumbering peacefully, blissfully unaware of his inner turmoil. He studies her soft fluff of dark hair and her dimpled chin, and inwardly, he scoffs.

Yeah, right. As if _he_ could ever marry that.

But the more he stares, the less he can help it and suddenly, he finds himself reaching out a finger and gently pressing it to her soft, soft cheek.  
The baby wakes with a start, its eyes blinking this way and that in confusion and surprise, and all Koichi can do is cringe and think

(Please, don't)

But her face crinkles and her little pink mouth falls open…

And then, a long, loud wail fills the room.

Flustered, Koichi looks around him, desperately searching for a pacifier, a toy, a rattle, anything that he can give that will shut her up and spare him from trouble.  
He finally spots a little stuffed puppy doll sitting by the window and he runs over to snatch it. He takes a second then, to calm himself before he gingerly but tenderly places it in the crib beside her.  
The crying, however, continues.

Koichi chews on his lip. His eyes scan the room for something different, something better. Maybe that picture book? Maybe a blanket. Maybe the giraffe doll, instead?  
And he quickly turns to retrieve it.  
But then, something happens that he does not expect.

The little baby reaches out and wraps her tiny hands around his fingers before he can get away. She looks up and blinks at him, eyes suddenly wide and innocent.  
And the crying has stopped.  
Koichi begins to frown. And as gently as he can, attempts to pry her fingers away from his hand, but the baby clings onto him and stubbornly refuses to let go.  
"No." he says softly, hoping she'll understand the sternness of his tone. He carefully places the puppy closer to her side and moves to pull away but the baby frowns and kicks her legs and only holds on tighter and finally Koichi gives in with a huff.  
"…Just for a little while." he mumbles. And as he settles himself against the crib, he decides right then and there that he, in fact, will never marry this baby. Not if he can help it.  
But then, he reluctantly gives her a side-long glance, and the baby coos at him. He gives her a small bewildered snort in return.

And then…she laughs.

The baby laughs and it is the most beautiful sound he has ever heard.  
Before he can help himself, he lets out a little chuckle himself and, startled at the foreign sound of his own laugh, Koichi stops chuckling and can suddenly do nothing but stare in awe and wonder at the little thing that is somehow both an annoyance, as it tugs and pulls at his fingers, and the most precious thing he has ever touched, as it squeals in delight.

And Koichi keeps watching her. And minutes tick by and an hour passes and he doesn't even notice. He doesn't notice when his parents finally shuffle into the room and announce that it is time to leave or when his mother's eyes widen first in surprise then begin to tear at the sight of her sullen, solemn, ever-so-serious son smiling, actually smiling back at this strange baby. And Koichi doesn't notice when she reaches into her bag, pulls out a camera, and snaps a picture of the two of them- of him and the baby, staring at each other as if there is no one else, and smiling like fools.

In the car later that night, Koichi stares out the window, watching the blur of street lights and houses and trees as they pass.  
"So, Koichi, what do you think? Will she be your future wife? You may have no choice. From the looks of it, she's already in love with you."  
His father lets out a loud, booming laugh and in the dark, Koichi's cheeks begin to flush.  
Too young, too serious, too socially inept to understand that his father is joking, young Koichi answers, "If she likes me that much…" And here, his voice trails off into a murmur. "I…guess I can marry her."  
His father laughs again, and promptly, the subject is dropped. His parents speak of other matters the entire way home and that is all fine to him. Koichi just looks down at his finger the whole way home and wonders how that baby could love him for such a simple little touch.

* * *

He doesn't remember any of this when he is older, of course.  
In fact, he forgets all about the baby and the picture soon enough as the deep, dark secrets of his own family are brought to light. And over the years, somber Koichi goes from bad to worse until he finds that he himself has become the "other person".

At first, he does it because he wonders- if his father sees him- his own son- doing the same, will it stop? Will it disgust his father the way it disgusts himself? Will he finally wake up?

And every time Koichi comes home, he drops hints: a phone call here, a meaningful comment there, trying to make it all glaringly obvious, impossible to ignore. He is, of course, oblivious to the sorrow that etches itself deeper and deeper into the lines of his mother's face. But time and time again, Koichi is faced with the bitter, disappointing truth and before he even knows it, he begins to do what he does because that is all he knows; all he thinks he can ever be- his father.

One day, however, his mother unexpectedly calls him home. She sits him down, reaches into her purse, and slides something across the table.  
"What is it?" Koichi asks, the disinterest clear in his voice.  
But his mother, in no mood for his disrespect today, gives him a sharp glare.  
"Look and see for yourself."  
And Koichi lets out a little sigh but he picks the thing up…

And all at once, his breath leaves his lungs.

"…Is that me?" he asks after a long moment.  
His mother nods, hoping, wishing, praying, that he will remember.  
"Why…am I…smiling like an idiot? Who is that..?" Koichi asks. And the unusual sight of himself, grinning unabashedly at some infant is enough for his cheeks to feel a little warmer.  
Seeing this, his mother softens, gives him a weary smile, and flips the picture over.

"Go to this address today at noon." she says. "And you'll find out."

And before he can ask her any more questions, she stands and shows herself to the door.

Koichi's mother was a smart woman. He'd always known that. But today, it occurs to him that maybe he had been concerning himself for too long about his father's indiscretions instead of considering how his had mother felt; what she had thought…All those years..

But Koichi suddenly glances at the clock and realizes there is no time for that now. He looks down once again at the picture in his hands and for a moment, he considers throwing it away.  
But then, the image of the mysterious baby in the crib catches his attention and just this once, he decides to take someone on something he knows very little of; faith.

* * *

From the other side of the door, his mother schemes and plots and finally, smiles. Then falters.

(It won't be enough…) she thinks sadly.

But then…

(A baby.

Grandchildren.

I need grandchildren.

…

Because maybe that will remind him. Maybe that will help him remember.)

How his touch has turned to poison.

How his promises have turned to ashes in his mouth.

How his love, even for his family, has turned into just that- a word and nothing more.

She takes a slow, shaky breath. Then she heads home.

* * *

"I'm sorry…I'm sure that makes walking together embarrassing." the woman says, blushing a pretty pink.

It's been five minutes and already, everything's gone wrong. But Koichi never imagined it would quite come to this; him fixing this careless woman's shoe in the middle of the street with a mess of ice cream on his coat. He lets out a quiet sigh and then helps her to a shoe store where they exchange more dull pleasantries, and as time passes, Koichi almost begins to feel disappointed that he ever came at all.  
But then she asks him a question.  
And he answers with "…There was a convenience store right nearby…", cheeks beginning to burn at her amused expression.

But she laughs…and something in him changes.

A lifetime's worth of heavy secrets and loneliness and burdens suddenly feels just a little lighter.

So he can't help it if he stares.  
"Um…Is something wrong?" she asks with a confused frown.  
Koichi is startled out of his thoughts and he quickly covers with, "There's something…on your cheek…" he says lamely.  
She blinks back at him, clearly not sure whether or not to believe him, but he takes the risk and tentatively reaches out and brushes his fingertips against her skin anyway.

And unlike everyone else he's ever been with, she doesn't cringe with the unspoken guilt of having another man.  
She doesn't press into him with a desperation born of a need to forget.  
She doesn't brace herself for the touch, willing herself not to feel anything.

No…

She just leans into the warmth of his hand and gently laughs at the startled expression that appears on his face instead.  
She laughs.  
She laughs, she laughs, she laughs…

And right then, right there, Koichi thinks to himself,

(Maybe…Maybe I could love her…)

And oh, it takes years, but when it happens, he loves nothing and nobody in the world more.


End file.
